Confessions of a Desk-Drawer Snack Thief

Dear Esteemed Colleagues,

Subject: Confessions of a Desk-Drawer Snack Thief

As I pack up my office tchotchkes and wave goodbye, I must come clean about a high-level secret: I am, in fact, the elusive desk-drawer snack thief. The rumors are true. I couldn’t resist the allure of your salted pretzels and mysterious chocolate bars that called my name at precisely 3:07 p.m. daily. Please accept my apology and my leftover candy wrappers as tokens of remorse.

Thank you for tolerating my questionable snack ethics, my over-the-top puns, and the occasional coffee-spill fiasco. I’ll miss our daily debates about the office thermostat (which is always set too cold, by the way). May your future be bright, snack-filled, and delightfully drama-free.

Forever craving,
[Your Name]