My Desk Plant and I Are Eloping

Howdy Office Adventurers,

Subject: My Desk Plant and I Are Eloping

I must announce that my desk plant, Ferninand, and I are running away together—beyond the endless horizon of cubicle walls. After months of surviving under harsh fluorescent lights, Ferninand deserves fresher air, and I deserve a life with fewer “reply-all” email nightmares.

Your dedication to after-lunch charades and 2 p.m. cookie runs made my time here unforgettable. I’ll cherish every memory (except for the time I tried to fix the water cooler solo—some things are better left to professionals).

Take care and water those plants,

[Your Name]