My Dramatic Exit from the Office Chair Olympics

Dear Rollie-Chair Competitors,

Subject: My Dramatic Exit from the Office Chair Olympics

I’m officially retiring from the 4:59 p.m. hallway drag races (you know who you are, Chair #7 occupant!). Our antics kept morale high and scuff marks on the floor. While I’d love to pass the torch, the custodial staff probably wants the torch extinguished altogether.

Thank you for fueling my competitive spirit and always cheering me on—even when we nearly collided with unsuspecting managers. May you continue rolling to victory without me. Just remember to wear your metaphorical seatbelts!

Zooming out,
[Your Name]