My Undying Devotion to Your Left Eyebrow

My Dearest [Name],

Subject: My Undying Devotion to Your Left Eyebrow

I cannot help but declare my undivided admiration for your left eyebrow—yes, specifically the left one. It arches with an elegance that stirs my very soul. The right eyebrow is lovely too, but the left has that perfect tilt that says, “I’m fabulous, and I know it.”

Thank you for raising that brow at me whenever I propose questionable dinner plans or attempt a dodgy dance move in the living room. Your expressions keep me grounded and forever enchanted. May that perfect arch guide us through countless questionable life choices together.

Eyebrow-obsessed and swooning,
[Your Name]