Farewell to the Overly Cheerful Elevator Voice

Hiya Up-and-Down Crew,

Subject: Farewell to the Overly Cheerful Elevator Voice

As I take my final ride in that elevator with the unnervingly cheerful “ding,” I reflect on all the awkward silences we shared in those short ascents and descents. You’ve been my silent (and sometimes not-so-silent) companions in daily vertical travel.
I’ll miss the forced nods, the polite smiles, and the comedic relief of jamming that “close door” button when someone awkwardly approached at the last second. May your rides be smooth, your small talk be minimal, and your elevator music be tolerable.

Pressing L for “leaving,”

[Your Name]