The Unused Vacation Day Miracle

Dear Resilient Coworkers,

Subject: The Unused Vacation Day Miracle

I’m leaving—and I finally realized I’ve racked up about 1,274 vacation days. Crazy, right? Consider them my parting gift to management. Perhaps they’ll build a memorial in my name: “The Person Who Never Took a Break.”

To each of you working tirelessly under the glare of the overhead lights: take those breaks, eat that leftover cake, and never apologize for taking a mental health day. I promise the office can’t combust without you.

Farewell,
[Your Name]